Okay let's do this thing: THE GUILT MEME

[ladyfoxxx]

Aahahahaa, okay so we were talking on Twitter about feedback; kudos vs comments and how sometimes you love a story A LOT and really WANT to comment, but don't and then never do and I discovered I'm not the only person who psyches themselves out of commenting like that. So here, have THE GUILT MEME:

We've all done it. That fic that you've read eleventy billion times and never actually commented on. Or maybe you only read it once but it was so good - SO fucking good that you just didn't know how to EXPRESS how good it was so you never actually commented, or you read it on your e-reader and never went back to comment, or you went back to comment and wound up re-reading it and STILL didn't comment, or it's been around forever and you kind of let yourself off the hook without commenting because there were ALREADY so many comments, surely the writer knows it's awesome, right?

Consider this meme a confessional. WHAT FICS ARE THEY?

The fics I never commented on and I SHOULD HAVE:

Conclusions by bexless (MCR, Frank/Gerard)
This is my GO-TO comfort read. And there is a podfic of it that is my GO-TO I-just-want-someone-to-read-to-me podfic by... ummm... *checks iTunes* rosekolodny. This fic, you guys. THIS FIC. Ugh. Just, the pining and how well-drawn the universe is and all the characters and Mikey and Frank's friendship and the PINING and the I DON'T MAKE WINDOW MURALS FOR JUST ANYONE and the SNUGGLING and FRIENDSHIP and general awesomeness and UH. Sorry. I have feelings. Lots of them.

Between The Wish And The Thing by ciel_vert and fleurdeliser (MCR, Frank/Gerard)
If I'm honest, this one is probably a tie for #1 re-read but never commented on fic. I don't even know what it is about two guys living under the same roof and being stupidly in love with each other and not REALISING that works for me but obviously it does because I fucking LOVE this fic SO much that I have considered making a podfic of it that I wouldn't even post, that would be just for ME to listen to, just so that I could have it read to me whenever I WANT. Yeah, okay, I kind of love it a LOT.

All In by fictionalaspect (Panic GSF)
It's RIDICULOUS the number of times I have re-read this fic. I have, hand to god, seriously started drafting an MCR version with this premise in my head because I just LOVE IT THAT MUCH. Four boys in a cabin in the woods putting their kinks in a jar and daring each other push their sexual boundaries. THERE IS NO WRONG HERE. There are kinks in this fic that aren't even my KINKS but the scenes featuring them are so hot I can't see straight. And on top of all that it is hilarious and has awesome banter and I have no idea how something so brilliant came in under 10k. No idea.

King And Country by tabula_x_rasa (MCR, Frank/Gerard)
If there is anyone into MCR who has not read this yet, dear GOD read it now. I totally psyched myself out of leaving feedback for this story because it's just VERY VERY GOOD, plus so many other people managed to express their feelings for this story FAR MORE ELOQUENTLY than I felt able and so somehow I just never commented despite the fact that this story is AMAZING. Incredibly well-researched, in character, well plotted, well written, really engaging and with awesome sexy times to boot. IT DESERVES A MUCH BETTER COMMENT THAN NO COMMENT. /o\

The Kids From Yesterday by tuesdaysgone (MCR, Killjoys, Gerard/Korse)
I still don't even know what to SAY about this except that this is THE Killjoys origin fic, in my humble opinion. I fucking love it to pieces and I kind of have very little urge to read other Killjoys fic in the wake of reading this because it's SO my canon now. And the Gerard/Korse relationship is so fucked up and GREAT and the way it ties into the video just fucking WORKS and all details of the universe and backstory just feel RIGHT to me. IDK, this is another one where I just don't know if I can express my wonder for the fic so I never fucking DID.

Post Modern Cyrano and Hands On Cyrano by littlemousling (Panic, Brendon/Spencer & Ian, Brendon/Spencer/Ian)
I am including these two on here because even though I've "kudos"ed them on AO3, the sheer NUMBER of times I've read them and never left an actual comment is DEVASTATING. This little series of fics hits so many of my kinks so fucking hard - dirty talk, voyeurism, exhibitionism, verbalisation of fantasy etc etc etc and then on top of all that there's awesome humour and banter and characterisation and BOOM! THREESOME. OH and there is PINING TOO. I am just going to keep going back and reading them over and over too. I just know it. MAYBE IF I LEAVE HER PROPER FEEDBACK SHE'LL WRITE ANOTHER SEQUEL.

Okay, I'M STOPPING HERE. These are definitely not all the fics I've ever read and not commented on when I SHOULD HAVE, but these are by far the ones I am carrying the most guilt around for. I'm also pretty sure there are some I am forgetting but I don't have my Kindle with me to check. Sigh.

OKAY, NOW YOU. Let's try and make this a meme!

Speak freely, nothing will get held against you. This doesn't mean you have to go leave comments NOW, like, unless you WANT TO, that's not the point. The point is, CONFESS.

P.S. It's kind of disheartening how every single one of these links was readily available in my browser history. THAT'S how often I reread these. /o\

Comments

[littlemousling]

The very first fic that jumped to mind for me was Hard to Be Soft. The comments are turned off now, but I'm pretty sure they weren't the first, you know, fifty MILLION times I read it, so I have no excuse other than "It was already a couple years old the first time I read it! The author has undoubtedly moved on and would think I was weird!" which is ridiculous but well. Welcome to the inside of my head. ;)

Otherwise, hmmmm. The problem is I have a TERRIBLE fic memory (anytime I want to find something, I have to be all "hey mistresscurvy or amazonziti or isweedan, what's that fic with that thing? You know?"). But I'm having this sudden thought that I'm not sure I ever got up the gumption to comment on Amateur Cartography or Need You Wild or Tell Me To Stop, at least not until relatively recently. ... now I need to go see if I have or not.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, a quick skim of Hard To Be Soft had me bookmarking it on the SPOT. Hhhhngh. I nearly had to add allfourinches girl!spencer fic I Wish I Could See It From Over There (http://allfourinches.livejournal.com/1116.html) to my own list but I FINALLY commented on that quite recently after rereading it like eleventy billion times (jesusfuck that fic is hot) - baby steps, okay?

Oh I have a TERRIBLE fic memory too. Don't even get me started on Amateur Cartography or Tell Me To Stop! I read those when I was first going "oh wow Panic has SO MUCH MORE KINK FIC than MCR" phase and didn't comment on anything because I was like LALALA this is just a phase, I'll totally get over reading Panic fic. Ahahahaa. How the mighty have fallen.

I would say that I'm sorry for sending you on a rereading spree, but I'm really not. ;-)

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

Mine is The Fall and Rise of the Black Parade (http://wordslinging.livejournal.com/13483.html). I mean, I've told Jez that I love it elsewhere, but I never commented on the story itself. When I first finished it, I had all these THINGS that I wanted to say about like, creating our own mythology and stories and I could never get them into coherent order. And that story is one of my very favorite works of fanfiction EVER.

P.S. <33333333333333333333333333333333 forever

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Oh man Jez's fic! I adore the Fall and Rise of TBP but the one of hers I've reread beyond all reason has to be A Lovely Apparition (http://wordslinging.livejournal.com/14187.html). SO MUCH LOVE. So well done. It was one of the very first fics I read in Bandom and it was absolutely one of the reasons I stuck around in this fandom. Oh god, that one really belongs on my list up there too.

PS. <33333333333333333333333333333 NO YOU.

[tabula-x-rasa.livejournal.com]

I have probably not commented on most of bexless's stuff, even after multiple rereads. /o\ And I am terrible at commenting on older fics, so all the stuff I read when I first got into bandom, all those fandom classics, I never commented on. Which is stupid, because whenever someone comments on old fic my reaction is pure joy! And this is probably true of other people! And yet. It might just be laziness, or no words to express feels, or some combination.

[And awwwwwww bb! Thank you!]

[tuesdaysgone.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I never commented on a single thing I read when I first got into bandom. Every single one of those classic fics. Fics I've RECCED, even. Because they all had eleventy billion comments already and I was a TOTAL LURKER in my previous fandom and...augh. /o\

[cee-m.livejournal.com]

I have this thing where I don't comment on things if the author doesn't answer comments. I used to also have shame for reading all of the porn that I do. I have since gotten over that but there are some older fics that I never got around to commenting on. I'm going to go backward through my bookmarks to see what I haven't ever commented on but that I've reread at least once. :)

The Unholyverse (http://www.waxjism.org/bex/b07_unholy.html) - This was the first bandom thing I ever read and I don't think I've ever left a comment. It was before I even know who the guys in My Chem were other than just peripheral MTV type knowing. I reread it once I got INTO bandom and then... sometimes just to read it. SO freakin' good. One of the best AUs I've ever read regardless of fandom.

Something Like a Mystery (http://untappedbeauty.livejournal.com/146023.html) (Patrick/Gerard, NC-17) - This is one of those ones where I don't get WHY it's STUPIDLY HOT. I don't find Patrick all that sexy but in this he absolutely is. I love every tiny baby thing about this fic. I've reread it I don't even know how many times. I've got a half finished Gee/Patrick fic written and this fic is to blame.

Buy Handmade (http://jjtaylor.livejournal.com/307825.html) (Frank/Gerard, Adult) - I have reread this so many times I have parts of it memorized. Baker FRANK!! I just... can't.

The second one (or: Adventures at JerseyCon) (http://mwestbelle.livejournal.com/128799.html) (Bob/Gerard, Adult) - I love this to distraction. Just Gee as a famous comic book artist and Bob as his long suffering assistant. *happy sigh* I've been to several of these type of cons and JFC... happy thoughts.

The Holly Golightly Club (http://fluffontop.livejournal.com/521654.html) (Frank/Gerard, Mikey/Pete Adult) - I just recently reread this one actually. SOO much about this fic is perfect. It takes the I'm Not Okay video and makes it a story line. The bonus of the Pete/Mikey relationship is just AMAZING. The insights into Pete are kind of stunning. The relationship between Frank and Gerard is just so freakin' sweet. LOVE.

Working for Joy on Overtime (http://anytimeinmyhead.livejournal.com/4019.html) (Frank/Gerard Adult) - Pretty Woman AU. I can't help it. I kiiiiinda love hooker!fic. I'm not gonna lie. I even commented on this but it was like a "I liked this" and I've reread it a few times since then because I like frank in suits okay!!

Strange Steps (http://bandombigbang.livejournal.com/103683.html) (Frank/Gerard Adult) - Okay another one where the comment FAR underwhelmed the love I have for this fic. High school dancing AU?! It's like ALL of the kryptonite in the fucking universe converged. The beautiful slow build of this fic and just all of the... I fucking don't know. It's LOVELY. I love Gee with the old ladies dancing... and his relationship with his grandmother... and just EVERY SINGLE THING EVER.

Pictures of Me and You (http://xylodemon.livejournal.com/423080.html) (Frank/Gerard Adult) - This fic is responsible for one of my favorite lines in a fic ever. I laughed SO hard. "There's always fucking coffee. Frank thinks Gerard would have sex with the coffee maker, if the coffee maker would stop playing coy and tell Gerard how it likes it." It's also kind of sweetly hot. I don't know how people manage that...

Sit Tight (http://desfinado.livejournal.com/19061.html) (Frank/Mikey/Gerard Adult) - Adult like... woah fucking fire. Sweet Baby Jesus. I just reread this again and went completely cross-eyed and JESUS. Threesomes solve everything, people. It's all kind of goofy and hot and then hot and then hot and then... burning up in a fire of SWEET MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST HOT.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

WOW SO I TOTALLY DIDN'T JUST CLICK A BUNCH OF THOSE LINKS AND C+F MY USERNAME TO SEE IF I'D COMMENTED.

Oh dear, there are some of these that should be on MY list. I mean, ones that I LOVED but never commented on. Oh GOD, Cee I'm a BAD BAD BAD person.

YES Born to Motorbabies, that one holy shit, I'm fairly sure I didn't comment and I remember reading Working For Joy On Overtime on my phone in a tent at a music festival, so I guess that explains the lack of feedback, but I neer went BACK

And yeah, see my above comment about how I never commented on soem of the Bandom Tentpole fics like Unholyverse and Holly Golightly because I was a n00b etc etc.

LOL but I totally just checked Sit Tight and I TOTALLY COMMENTED ON THAT ONE. GO ME.

(oh god /o\)

[cee-m.livejournal.com]

I had to split it into two comments because I ran out of room... LOL.


That's What He Said (http://archiveofourown.org/works/340416) (Panic GSF Adult) - I left a teeny piece of FB on this one but... yeah. This was a fic where I read it at work and I really REALLY REALLY shouldn't have because I had to stop in the middle to go home because I BLACKED THE FUCK oUT from being so turned on. How... How does that even happen?

Panties and Lip Gloss (http://archiveofourown.org/series/15337) (Brendon/Spencer Adult) - I left a kudos but I've read this three times and it only came out like a month ago for god's sake! Unf. Brendon in panties... and lip gloss and how they keep applying the lip gloss because it gets kissed off and... unf.

Oh... and one non bandom one for you

Last Outpost of All That Is (http://gekizetsu.net/sn/lastoutpost.htm) (Sam/Dean Adult) - This... just this. This is one of my very favorite pieces of fanfiction. It's what happens when Sam and Dean wake up to find that they're the last two people on earth. It's so LOGICAL and so full of FELLINGS. No lie, it's one of the best things I've read in a long time, fanfic or no.

I have to stop now. Because... I have to STOP now. All this is doing is making me want to reread things for fuck's sake. I blame you, woman!

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Oh GOD Panties and Lip Gloss, I know I kudos'ed it but I can't remember if I left an actual comment (or a coherent one at that) I'm pretty sure I've flailed at sunsetmog in RL as well as on Twitter about it though, so hopefully that is SOMETHING.

[turlough]

We've all done it. That fic that you've read eleventy billion times and never actually commented on. Or maybe you only read it once but it was so good - SO fucking good that you just didn't know how to EXPRESS how good it was so you never actually commented, or you read it on your e-reader and never went back to comment, or you went back to comment and wound up re-reading it and STILL didn't comment, or it's been around forever and you kind of let yourself off the hook without commenting because there were ALREADY so many comments, surely the writer knows it's awesome, right?

Umh, I never have? Well, not since I stopped lurking, that is. The whole reason why I got an LJ back in the day was because I wanted to be able to leave feedback "properly" and not just anonymously.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

When I saw the notification email that you commented in this post all I could think was "why would Turlough comment on this post except to say that she has NEVER DONE THIS" and LOL I was so right.

I don't know how you do it, bb. You are a WARRIOR. You ALWAYS comment when you read stuff and your bookmarks and recs and UTTER ORGANISATION really blows me away. You are an example for us ALL to strive towards!

[tuesdaysgone.livejournal.com]

First thing: ACTUAL TEARS IN MY EYES. Thank you bb. I am SORT OF INSANE about that 'verse and especially that story and just...eeeeeeee.

Oh, god, I'd really have to think about this HARD. It's on my list of things I am Trying To Improve At. I'm pretty sure I should just do what you said and start with all the stuff I've downloaded because I wanted to be able to carry it around with me foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr and see what I never commented on. It'll be a project. Yes.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

You SHOULD be insane about that 'verse bb it's SO GREAT. It covers ALL the bases I wanted covered from a Killjoys origin fic and god I LOVE the way you made the Gerard/Korse relationship WORK where as a reader you KNOW it's not good but you WANT IT ANYWAY and then the way you introduce Frank and AHHHHHHHHHHH. i JUST LOVE IT A LOT and I am carrying a LOT OF GUILT over how I've never really told you WHY. &YOU;

It's on my list of things to Improve At as well and I have good runs and bad runs. I really should go through the contents of my Kindle and do some real and proper feedback. Oh man. I hope people pick up this meme, because at least then the ones we KEEP COMING BACK TO will be covered, and they are the ones I carry the most guilt about.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I have MANY, but the first one that came to mind was jjtaylor's Born to Motorbabies (http://archiveofourown.org/works/138667?view_adult=true), which BLEW ME AWAY to SUCH AN EXTENT that it languished in my tabs and I never, ever, ever managed to leave a comment that could even in the SMALLEST PART convey how much that story BLEW ME AWAY, and how GORGEOUS it was, and how incredibly heart-wrenching and beautiful and stunningly PERFECT it was. Oh God, my HEART. Even thinking about it, I'm transported back to reading it for the first time and sitting on the stoop of my old therapist's office and just going o_____________o at the world because: words. Her WORDS.

So, there's that one!

There is also: HARD CANDY, I believe, as well as a LOT of people's BRBB fics, which is RIDICULOUS, but there you are. I will have to come back with a full list. OR MAYBE I'LL JUST LEAVE COMMENTS, I DON'T KNOW. /o\ I know I owe shiningartifact feedback to, like, three stories? I think? Which is HORRIBLE, and I suck, and I LOVE her writing and I just - IDK! Our brains, why do they do this?

I love this meeeeeeeeeme!

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Oh man TAKE TWO, I really fucking loved Born To Motorbabies. I remember it was one of the first fics that was about the Killjoys and just, IDK the way it dealt with the canon and played in that world in a way that worked, and all the symbolism and the storytelling and the way it told you things without TELLING YOU THINGS and just GUH. That happens to me a lot with jjtaylor's stuff though, TBH, I read it and I'm so MOVED that I wind up going, "why do I even TRY to write, I will NEVER be this good?" because JJ is more than just a writer, she's like a CRAFTSPERSON and a STORYTELLER.

There is also: HARD CANDY, ahahahahhhaaaa. Look here, okay T totally told about how Hard Candy made the porn drawer. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY. Anyway, it's not like I ever told you about all the love I have for We Are Gathered Here To Witness and In the Springtime (A LOT, okay, A LOT. Particularly We Are Gathered because holy shit how you managed to make the porn so smoking hot AND make their connection so intense and completely believeable from the very beginning SLAYS ME.) So, Even Stevens?

(Oh man I owe shiningartifact so much feedback /o\ /o\ /o\ I was so proud of myself when I commented on her no_tags because my track record has been AWFUL with her fic, because she's written all this AWESOME STUFF (oh god More oh god oh god) and I totally psyched myself out about commenting because she's left me some AMAZING feedback and she's written these AWESOME stories that deserve so much love and I just haven't had the words for how GOOD they are and they were her first bandom stories and I wanted to make sure she KNEW how good they were and I HAVEN'T TOLD HER THAT, UGH. /o\ /o\ /o\ /o\)

[halfeatenmoon.livejournal.com]

I hate comments vs kudos debates because I'm the biggest defender of kudos ever. I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM TO THE DEATH. I NO LONGER WANT TO POST FIC ANYWHERE THAT DOESN'T HAVE KUDOS. But people always hate on them. Anyway. That's not the point of this.

I thought I was terrible at commenting, but when I racked my brains for things I've re-read a lot, the only one that came to mind which I hadn't commented on was Love: The Package Deal (http://archiveofourown.org/works/55772). There are fics that I've read and not commented on, for sure, but not ones that I've read and re-read.

The real confession, though, is that I'm absolutely the kind of person who will read a fic, see that there are fifty comments at the bottom and think "Well, they've got enough comments, they know how great it is." And I know people say they always appreciate more comments, everyone does, and it's not like I don't believe it. But the thing is, every time I read something and enjoy it and don't feel the need to make every reaction I have to it known to the author (you know how it is, sometimes you just have to tell them everything the story made you feel, and sometimes the story just made you feel "oh, that was nice") and when I look at the bottom of the page and see three times as many comments as the most popular thing I've written in the last two years, I just... don't. I don't mean to be vindictive. It's not some sort of anger thing. It's just that for all I say that I don't mind that my writing isn't what fandom loves most, and a lot of the time I really don't... well. It makes me not want to comment on stuff that doesn't have a lot of comments.

So, there you go.

[halfeatenmoon.livejournal.com]

A postscript: sometimes I do this with people's journal entries too. That's more a thing in hockey fandom, where people like impertinence and liketheroad make really interesting posts that I love reading, which is why I have them friended, but I look down and go "yeeeah, there are already 80+ comments on this, she's not going to have time to respond to me." Which is ridiculous and untrue, especially of Imp who has usually responded before I even have time to refresh, but I think it's a hangover from the time zone thing.

[silentcs.livejournal.com]

I am so guilty of this. Eventually the guilt will get to me and I will comment, but I feel all sorts of awkward when I do, especially when a story is older and I loved it a lot. Text seems so inadequate for my feelings! Sometimes I reread stories on AO3 that I've already hit the kudos for.....so I sign out and leave more kudos, as a guest. XD

Conclusions! I have never left feedback on this story, even though I love it to pieces. After listening to the podfic so often, I did leave feedback for the reader, but that definitely didn't convey my frightening enthusiasm for it.

Like the Tide (http://not-often.livejournal.com/3747.html) by arsenicjade and untappedbeauty (Panic, Ryan/Spencer)
This is one of those stories I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just because I need to know everything would be okay, and then I got up the next day and read it again. Just. This fic pulls my heartstrings every time. New Year's stargazing! How inherently decent and nice Mr and Mrs Walker are! I am not coherent about this story.

(To Die Will Be) An Awfully Big Adventure (http://archiveofourown.org/works/167916) by fayjay (MCR, general all-around awesomeness)
Thinking about this fic fills me with glee! And yet I've never left a comment reflecting that because my thoughts are all capslock ramblings of OF COURSE THERE ARE WEREWOLVES and COMICON and QUEEN OF THE FAERIES and alsdkjhf;osidlkjnv DUELING FAE PRINCES YESS.

Into this Dream (http://reni-days.livejournal.com/28993.html) and basically everything else ever by reni_days
That moment in the story where Brendon undoes his wish is beautiful everytime, and I've read this story a lot even when compared to how often I read her other stories, which are basically all a happy place where everything is good and lovely.

....I know I have more stories I shamefully have not commented on but if I look them up now I will be stuck in a rereading coma for a while. But this does give me incentive to comment on some fics I have just read and have open in tabs, waiting for feedback. :D

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

I have no idea why LJ decided to eat this comment but OMG RENI DAYS. That is a like a WHOLE WORLD OF GUILT for me because I found her LJ and read EVERY SINGLE STORY IN IT and CRIED when there weren't any more to read and I considered writing her a big creepy message just basically telling her I love everything ever that she's ever touched but I didn't and then I did that whole HEY I AM NOT IN PANIC FANDOM ANYWAY and never told her any of the awe I feel toward her everything.

Oh man, I hear you on the re-read thing. It's been really hard for me not to just start rereading every single fic on my list!

[greedy_dancer]

I can't actually remember commenting (or not) on fic? I think I'm usually pretty good at giving feedback if I loved a fic, and I know I've left "wow I'm on my Xth reread and can't believe I never commented before" comments...

But I also totally know the feeling of "fic from 2007, 5 pages of comments..."! And I have some fic tagged "to feedback" in Pinboard. That I never went back to and feedbacked /o\

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

You really are good at commenting bb. And you have a system too! Like you can keep track of stuff with Pinboard and I just rely on my terrible sieve-like memory.

I know I've left "wow I'm on my Xth reread and can't believe I never commented before" comments... Aw man, those comments are AWESOME comments to get. GO YOU.

[ciel-vert.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem with fics that were written before I got into bandom... which is pretty much just all the old classics, because I've been here for so long at this point. But seriously, I should comment! Because I love getting comments on stuff from 2 years ago, you know? Old fic getting comments is still so fun!

And b'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <33333333333333333333333333333333333333

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

I kinda feel like a lot of the old bandom classics are like, IDK Required Reading at this point, and sometimes the authors aren't even around anymore and IDK I guess I have a LOT of excuses for why I may not have commented on stuff /////o\\\\\ But yeah, the ones I've reread lots and lots I almost feel like I should say something for ME more than for them, because these stories mean so much to me.

YES LIKE YOUR STORY THAT I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT OMG I AM A LOOOSERRRR. /o\

<33333333333333

[mwestbelle.livejournal.com]

Uhhh, all of them? I...never comment on fic, pretty much. Unless it was written by a friend who will shame me until I publicly state how much I like it. Mostly I just feel like a huge goober and that I don't have anything smart to say, which is ridiculous because someone could leave me a comment that just says "cool!" and I would be pleased to bits that they took the time to comment. WHICH IS TO SAY that is why I love kudos because I can just click and express my appreciation without getting tied up in knots about what to say. The other thing I do is to open a comment box, write half of one, then never post it and forget it's there and close the tab. WHOOPS.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Mostly I just feel like a huge goober and that I don't have anything smart to say, which is ridiculous because someone could leave me a comment that just says "cool!" and I would be pleased to bits that they took the time to comment.

Oh man GPOY. Totally. I wind myself up going THIS IS SO GOOD I NEED TO MAKE SURE I EXPRESS PROPERLY HOW GOOD IT IS, when I am totally happy with like keysmash comments and giant love hearts and ridiculous emoticons or just "this was hot!" kind of comments.

Yeah, this meme really is becoming a loveletter to kudos.

The other thing I do is to open a comment box, write half of one, then never post it and forget it's there and close the tab. WHOOPS.

AHAAHAHHAA I TOTALLY DO THIS TO. /o\

[isweedan]

My deal with myself is: If I read it I have to tweet it and a summary/mini-review from isreadan. And I can't tweet it until I've feedbacked it.

So....sometimes I go though and comment on fics TOO AWESOME TO COMMENT ON at my initial reading time and comment on five or six or ten fics all in one fell swoop of COMMITMENT. I feel kinda bad about spamming the twitter feeds then.

But, since my 2011 New Years Resolution To Comment I have been...pretty good about the comments, but before that? AHAHAHAHAH. No. Notsomuch. I don't think I left more than a handful of comments when I read the first like 30 pages that turned up on old!delicious when you searched for SGA fic. Or SPN fic. Or when I was big into Age of Sail. Or Doctor Who. Or when I was a bb fan years and years ago in HP. >.>

I seriously need to make a new deal with myself about commenting on non-fic lj/dw posts that I like, because I am BAD BAD BAD at that.

I've totally had moments where I've started recording podfic of something I read when I was new to fandom and gone "Oh crapppp, have I COMMENTED ON THE FIC????" Because how awk would that be, "Oh hey I love your fic so much I want to podfic it! Oh, I've never commented on it before? Ahahaha. Surprise! I like your fic. Lots? :D?"

Prettyyyyy sure that actually happened on a couple of dancinbutterfly's slideverse fics.

Sometimes I have 50 tabs open and suddenly it is finals time and I need to open ALL THE TABS for studying and I give up and put all the fic in a tab set on pinboard. Maybe one day I will go back to them? Maybe? I know I did this for at least one round of BBB and no_tags. After a certain day I was just WHELMED and zomg I know I missed many a wonderful thing ;_____;

Oh! But kudos. Man, I fucking LOVE kudos. I use them soooo much. I'm more likely to comment if I know the author on twitter/lj/dw? So for all my fandoms where I find the awesome stuff via fandom:popular I tend to be a kudos-only girl. UNLESS it is so crazymadgood that I HAVE TO COMMENT ON IT. IN CAPSLOCK. BECAUSE MY LOVE IS SO GREAT. But there are a lot of 'merely' crazygood fics like that where my fb has been to hit the kudos button with an attitude of fic-born joy.

(One thing that drives me bonkers is not knowing which bexless fics I commented on before she locked her journal and migrated her content to AO3.) 

Oh! I tend not to comment on things where I will be the top comment, this means lots of the super fun team-written fics of porn and *id* at orgasamsandwoe and allfourinches etc. don't have comments from me. Because, it doesn't seem to be a ~thing to comment on them? Posting into what you know is going to be a vacuum like that has gotta be weird. I try to give twitter feedback on those though, if I can?

Aw, snap I'm at the end of my thoughts and I don't have an awesome list of fics I've read and reread. Snaaaaap.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE A REALLY GOOD COMMENTER. I am pretty sure I see comments from you on just about everything I read and as I said on twitter I AM IN AWE OF YOU FOR THAT.

"Oh hey I love your fic so much I want to podfic it! Oh, I've never commented on it before? Ahahaha. Surprise! I like your fic. Lots? :D?" THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. Seriously, I don't think I would have a problem receiving a comment like that at ALL. Because I am SUCH a failboat commenter and I am pretty sure half of the fics I've ever CONSIDERED podficcing I may never have commented on because I FAIL.

UNLESS it is so crazymadgood that I HAVE TO COMMENT ON IT. IN CAPSLOCK. BECAUSE MY LOVE IS SO GREAT.

lolol. SOMETIMES CAPSLOCK IS NECESSARY TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE.

Oh! I tend not to comment on things where I will be the top comment, this means lots of the super fun team-written fics of porn and *id* at orgasamsandwoe and allfourinches etc.

Oh man /o\ I HATE being the first commenter. I have been known to write a comment and like, hit refresh a few times until some other comments appear JUST BECAUSE I am an awkward turtle.

Agh, thanks for sharing bb, I feel so much less alone in all this because we have a LOT of the same FEELS about this.

[desfinado.livejournal.com]

THE GOOD LIFE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I HAVE ACTUALLY NEVER COMMENTED ON THE GOOD LIFE.

THIS ONE HERE (http://sinsense.livejournal.com/414872.html), IF FOR SOME REASON YOU HAVE NOT READ IT.

MY ACTUAL FAVOURITE FANFIC IN ALL OF BANDOM AND I TALK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY

/////////o\\\\\\\\\\

There are a shitton I OWE comments for, like all of this year's no_tags and brbb, and some of shiningartifact's fics that I beta'd and have SO MANY FEELINGS about, but I fully intend to comment properly! It can just take a few months for me, sometimes. THERE ARE TABS. I WILL NOT FORGET *stern face*

♥ ♥

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

DUDE JUST SCROLL UP, THOSE FICS UP THERE I READ ALL THE TIIIIME AND I HAVE NEVER COMMENTED. I TALK ABOUT THEM ALL OVER FANDOM AND TWEET ABOUT THEM AND I NEVER COMMENTED. RELEASE THE GUILT, THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.

(Ahahahahaa I have never commented on that fic even though it is like the asshole!Frank fic of my HEART, bahahahaa. FAIL.)

Oh man I haven't commented on a SINGLE brbb story - INCLUDING THE ONE THAT WAS WRITTEN TO MY MIX. No really, I am that faily. But goddamnit I WILL. *copies your stern face*

♥

[dr-jasley.livejournal.com]

I kinda spazz on comments A LOT. Sometimes I'll leave a monster response and other times I just don't. If it's porn or really late there's a higher chance I won't comment.

I tend to say I'm going to finish a story or reread and comment then and I never do. Or it's been forever now since the story's been posted and I feel weird for commenting.

UMMM....I read A LOT and I tend to not tab much or bookmark so I can't say what I haven't commented on. Safe to say prolly 70%

Also I actually like the kudos on AO3...sure, I'd LOVE comments but kudos lets me know that people liked it. The stuff I write isn't widely read or commented on so even kudos matter to me.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound really dumb, but like, if I'm reading outside of my fandom, or it's a story where I don't know the author, I quite often won't comment because it's like lalalaaa I'm so sneaky no one will have expected me to read this w/ev w/ev.

Or it's been forever now since the story's been posted and I feel weird for commenting. Yeah I get this sometimes, and then I remind myself that late comments are AWESOME to receive.

Also I am VERY aware as I write this comment to you that there is another fic with a GLARING lack of feedback from me out there - your AWESOME brbb, which, believe me, I am totally carrying guilt about and I am absolutely going to do.

And yeah kudos are love, I'm so glad they exist.

[roxy-palace.livejournal.com]

If there's a fic I've read and loved that I haven't commented on I can't recall it. I only comment immediately because if I don't I never will. Having said that I'm such an air head I'm sure there are some I've yet to gush embarrassingly all over. This post is so so awesome. I want to re-read and comment on almost everything on here. Yay!

[roxy-palace.livejournal.com]

re-read and RE comment! ha ha

[monkey-pie.livejournal.com]

Urgh. I was gonna say I don't have much guilt, but then I realized that while I try to be really really good about commenting on all the recent fic that I have read, that doesn't count the older stuff that I dug into when I first came into bandom about two years ago. I tag everything pretty obsessively in delicious (sigh, I wish they didn't suck so much now), so I can nearly always go back and find a story I have read. This meme is making me want to at least look at all the things I've tagged as "favorites" to see if I have left comments. IDK. As someone who doesn't write I feel like leaving a comment is sort of the least I can do and still feel like I am "participating" in a fannish community. Even if I tend to leave pretty lame feedback, I figure any comment is probably good.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

while I try to be really really good about commenting on all the recent fic that I have read, that doesn't count the older stuff that I dug into when I first came into bandom about two years ago.

Oh bb, we are ALL carrying the guilt of our early fic-reading! So many people's responses to this meme have been about stories they read when they were first coming into a fandom and weren't sure if they were going to stick around or whatever. It's a SHARED LOAD.

As someone who doesn't write I feel like leaving a comment is sort of the least I can do and still feel like I am "participating" in a fannish community.

What an awesome attitude to have! ♥

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

I'm doing this new thing for BRBB where I don't let myself click back and open a new story until I comment. If that means I only get to read a story a day because I keep getting distracted from commenting, that's what it means. So far of all the stories I've read (probably the amount posted minus ten?) I've only fucked it up twice; I left placeholder feedback for Suddenly Last Summer by romanticalgirl, and didn't leave anything for halfeatenmoon's Sailor Moon AU. BUT I WILL GO BACK. I've read in order, and I'm on the first page now, so 9 fics left, and one of those is mine.

Also, I still haven't let myself read your Killjoys Mikey/Ray fic, because I haven't fully commented on the first one, and I don't 'deserve' the second until I comment on the first.

I will say though, that when I comment, I tend to leave big, multi paragraph comments. I know this isn't how most people feel, and I'm not saying I'm right, but to me, kudos read as 'well, it was good, I guess. But there was nothing good enough about it to comment on. So I'm just gonna let you know that I read it. Next time try to write something worth commenting on'. If a fic is worth finishing instead of clicking the back button, it's worth saying "Gabe made me laugh" or "it's really cool how you changed the classic trope of __ when you added __". Once I'm commenting, nothing can stop me from gushing and having alllll the feelings.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Oh man I DEFINITELY do not have the self control to not read fic until I've left feedback on other fic. NO WAY. But GO YOU, that's a very brave approach and I hope it continues to work for you!

Also, I still haven't let myself read your Killjoys Mikey/Ray fic, because I haven't fully commented on the first one, and I don't 'deserve' the second until I comment on the first.

OMG, if THAT'S why you haven't read it, then please don't hold back! You've absolutely told me you loved it and enjoyed it, I hate to think of you missing out because you feel you don't deserve to read - you absolutely deserve to read bb! You're awesome!

You clearly have much higher commenting standards than me. I use kudos as a way to say YAY I LIKED THIS when I don't have time/capacity/words to say more. I'd hate for anyone to think me leaving kudos and not a comment meant anything less than that I loved it. But kudos totally means different things to different people and I'm finding it fascinating to hear other peoples takes on it.

YOU ARE PRETTY GREAT BB.

[cee-m.livejournal.com]

Also, can I just say... your Ray icon is making me all nonverbal.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

ALL THE RAY ICONS EVER PLEASE.

[silentcs.livejournal.com]

Looks like LJ ate my confession, but that's alright. It's nice to know other people are in the same haven't-commented-even-though-FEELINGS boat. :)

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

I RIPPED you confession from the mouth of LJ! And what a great confession it is. I think we are all kind of faily about commenting sometimes, but when I look at it from the other side I'm happy to hear back from people in whatever way that they liked stuff whether it's random twitter comments, or things said aloud, or stuff mentioned in passing or whatever

THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I have a lot of love for both those fics NGL so I'm so happy other people like them too <3

[almostblue.livejournal.com]

I just saw this /o\ /o\ /o\ I am the actual latest /o\ My family stuff is taking up all of my time lately, but this is a really interesting post and now I want to bookmark EVERTHING in here that I haven't read.

Thank you so much, bb <333 I'm so glad you like that story! <333333333

Oh god, commenting. I am not that great at commenting. Or, well. If it's something I love, I always comment, but sometimes it takes me a while to formulate a response, and then occasionally I forget and close the tab and then I feel bad. Or if it's someone I'm friendly with, sometimes I just email the author with all of my !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feelings, but that's not really an excuse for not commenting, either.

Most of the fics that come to mind aren't bandom fics - they're stories I read in HP or LoTRips that totally changed the way I write and the way I think about characters. Um, off the top of my head - A Soft Spot for Lost Causes (http://archiveofourown.org/works/228337), by helenish, and The convergence series (http://archiveofourown.org/works/121916) by Shaenie (which I still consider to be, hands down, one of the best things ever written in any fandom and the BEST, absolute BEST bdsm fic that I have ever read, even if it has some problems), and The King of New Orleans (http://archiveofourown.org/works/242784) by traveller.

Also, I probably never commented on The Fall and Rise of the Black Parade (http://wordslinging.livejournal.com/13483.html), but it's the kind of story I rec to people when they want to understand what fandom gives to the world, and how fandom takes a concept and expands it and makes it their own. There are a lot of Black Parade AUs, but that one will always be my favorite.

[ladyfoxxx.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaa. Girl, i FAIL so hard at LJ lately, I certainly wouldn't ever DREAM of judging you. I've been known to respond to feedback comments like 6 MONTHs too late, so yeah NO JUDGEMENT HERE.

Oh god, that story. I love it SO much. After I made this post I saw dapatty posted a podfic and then greedy_dancer did one as well and I was CRYING WITH HAPPINESS because I CAN LISTEN TO IT WHENEVER I WANT in TWO DIFFERENT VOICES.

All In actually came up in a discussion I was having with a writer friend of mine the other day, where we were talking about how you can read stuff that may not necessarily be a kink for you but in the hands of a good writer it can be really fucking hot, and I was using the scene in the tub as an example of that (because holy SHIT that scene is hot, like sizzling hot, for something that is not really on my kink list, so bravo to you) and she was like YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHERE TO FIND THIS BOOK and I was like ummmm well it's not really published... /o\

I am in awe of your ability to get a comment out for the things you love. I have been known to tweet excitedly at people when reading a good story if I know them, or chat them about it, or email, and I guess that's good, but I always feel like I should leave a proper comment EVERY TIME, because dammit if they took the time to write it/edit it/post it the least I can do is take 30 seconds to say HI THIS WAS GREAT, but of course it never actually takes 30 seconds, right?

I didn't realise there were LOTs of TBP AUs, but then I came to bandom quite a while after that album happened, so I guess I just read TFAROTBP because that was THE black parade AU and by then everyone knew that.

Thanks for dropping by! I have no idea how you happened across the post but I am very glad you did. Y'all come back now, y'hear?