I will gladly be your bitch any time ;)
...wait what? O_o

*Cough cough* May I just point out that I have no idea what any of those first three things are? I have never seen them in my inbox. *Waggles eyebrows*

I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR, THAT I AM COMPLETELY CERTIFIED TO GUIDE YOU AND ANYONE ELSE IN THE WAYS OF PATRICK STUMP. Because, you know, of the whole 'I'm marrying him' bit. *g*