ladyfoxxx: (Ray smiles like the sun)
ladyfoxxx ([personal profile] ladyfoxxx) wrote2013-01-08 05:14 pm
Entry tags:

Insta-fic: Take What You Want (Frank/Gerard, from the Not As Advertised 'verse)

Darling Aka, I hear you are having a shitty day. Here is that ficlet I still owe you. <3

Fandom: Bandom - MCR
Title: Take What You Want
Pairing: Frank/Gerard (Frank/Jamia)
Length: 1300 words
Rating/Warnings: M, angst
Summary: Set after Not As Advertised
A/N: This was a quick-write and it's not been beta'ed. All mistakes are mine.

"You want him, don't you?" Frank asks the question softly but Gerard still startles, turning around abruptly and placing his body in front of the window like it will block the view of the other Frank out in the parking lot, half naked and dousing himself with the hose.

Frank pushes a take-away coffee into Gerard's hands (powdered creamer, two sugars), "I don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Gerard asks, his voice high and shrill. He won't meet Frank's eyes. Frank doesn't understand how this awkward, nervous guy can be the same one who gets up on stage and yells at a screaming crowd that they can be something, do something. It doesn't add up.

Frank glances past Gerard out the window to the other Frank, and back to Gerard, who's not even drinking his coffee yet. "You want him, but you've never even tried, have you?"

"It's not that easy,' Gerard says, sounding resigned. He seems to remember he has coffee and focuses on drinking it instead of on Frank.

"It could be." Frank says, because in his experience, it often is, "What's stopping you?"

Gerard doesn't answer, he just leaves the bus.


Two stops on the tour circuit later, Frank finds out what's stopping him. A cute brunette who might have been Frank's type in another life, if he'd swung a different way. She's smiles like the sun when the other Frank bounces down the bus steps and hugs her, lifting her off her feet.

"She always comes out for the Jersey shows," Mikey says, voice droll as always.

"Huh?" Frank asks.

"Jamia," Mikey clarifies, "Frank's fiance."


"Oh my god," Jamia coos, as her fingers trace gently down Frank's face, "You weren't kidding."

Frank holds still, feeling a lot like someone's pet that's been brought for show and tell. He doesn't have to go through this that often, only the band themselves and the very inner circle of their staff know about him. His haircut matches the other Frank's and they're careful not to be seen out together at the same time. Brian still manages to find a million dull things to keep him occupied though, secrecy or no.

"Pretty good, match hey?" the other Frank grins at Jamia and Frank pastes on a smile.

"Do you-" Jamia starts to ask the other Frank, then seems to think the better of it and turns to ask Frank, "do you have the same tattoos?"

"No," Frank says, weirdly charmed that she's making an effort, "I've only a got a few, and none of them match his."

Jamia's hands hover over Frank's like she's afraid to touch, so he raises his hands, spreads his fingers, showing her his bare knuckles where the letters for HALLOWEEN would be.

She sucks in a startled breath, "Holy shit."


Frank finds Gerard in the back studio. His sketchbook is in his lap but he's holding his pencil upside down.

Frank slips inside, "Do you mind?" he holds up a handful of markers, "I told Frank I'd sit in the interview for him this afternoon, give him some more time with Jamia."

Gerard nods and pats the floor beside him, "That was good of you. You gonna wear long sleeves?"

"Of course." Frank says, and settles himself on the floor, holding still while Gerard uncaps a black pen and leans in. They've done this so many times now, Gerard doesn't even need to see the designs anymore, he just draws them from memory. The pen tip is cold against Frank's skin, Gerard's breath tickling warm on Frank's neck as he concentrates, creating the design. Frank can feel the form of the scorpion take shape on his neck. He knows when it's finished, but waits for Gerard to tell him to relax before he moves again, offering up his hands.

They don't talk as Gerard switches markers and starts drawing the Halloween letters on Frank's knuckles. It's kind of nice, actually, to just be still and listen to the cadence of Gerard's breathing as he draws. Frank's gaze settles on Gerard's hands, the way his black polish-tipped fingers grip Frank's, firm but gentle. It's a shame when Gerard finishes, and lets go.

"It's her, isn't it? She's the reason." Frank's not sure why he's asking, maybe just to give him a reason not to leave yet.

Gerard turns back to his sketchbook and picks up his pencil. It's not until Frank's nearly out of the room that he answers.



Frank's careful with the drawn-on tattoos, taking care not to wet or smudge them, even after the (somewhat boring) interview is over. When the guys are onstage, he steals into the dressing room and raids Frank's wardrobe, stuffing a few items in his rucksack for later.

It's a hotel night, and Gerard has the single. Frank knocks carefully, the other Frank's clothes feeling just a little loose around his body, his hair damp with product he doesn't usually wear. The illusion must work, because when Gerard answers the door - still in his stage gear and smudged eye makeup - he says, "Frankie?" in that soft tone he only uses with the other Frank.

"Hey," Frank says, offering him an easy smile like the other Frank would, "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Gerard steps back, looking a little confused. "Is everything okay?"

Frank waits for the door to shut behind him, "Everything's okay, I just," he reaches for Gerard's hand and tangles their fingers together and seeing how the ink on his knuckles looks against the pale skin of Gerard's hand. "Gee?"

"Yeah?" When Frank looks up, Gerard's looking at him. Except he's not looking at him, he's looking at the other Frank, with one of the expressions Frank's never been the target of before. Frank's breath catches in his throat and for just one moment he wishes for something impossible. Then he leans up and kisses Gerard.

Gerard makes a startled noise against Frank's lips, but he doesn't pull back, so Frank deepens it, catches a handful of Gerard's hair and holds him to it. It takes a moment, but Gerard gives in and kisses back. HIs fingers grasp Frank's shoulders tight, breath hissing in through his nose as his lips move against Frank's, kissing him like he wants to devour him.

Frank presses closer, until Gerard's body is pressed warm and eager against his front. Gerard's the one to break the kiss, "Frankie, we shouldn't."

"We can," Frank whispers between messy kisses, "It's okay."

"What about J-"

Frank presses a finger to Gerard's lips before he can get the word out, trying to wear the expression he thinks the other Frank would have right now. Gerard stares at him, his brow furrowing, his lips wet. Then he reaches down and pushes back the sleeve of Frank's shirt, showing bare skin. "You're not him."

Frank pushes the sleeve back down again, "I could be." He lifts a hand to brush Gerard's hair out of his eyes, the movement carefully gentle. "I am, tonight."

"That's not how it works." Gerard's voice sounds almost desperate as Frank presses back in, lining up their bodies again, "You're not our Frank."

"But you said I was," Frank says, remembering how sure Gerard had sounded that first night, the first time. He leans in and kisses Gerard again, swift and hot. Gerard groans against his mouth and kisses back, tasting like desperation. "You said I was your Frank and I can be." He slides his mouth across Gerard's cheek, kissing gently, tasting salt. "Just take it." He whispers the words right in Gerard's ear, "Take what you want tonight, Gee. You can have it. It's okay."

For a moment he thinks he's gone too far. Gerard's trembling in his arms, his breathing laboured and rough. Frank mentally prepares himself for a brush off, for a fight. What he gets is Gerard's fingers pushing up into the long hair at the back of Frank's mohawk, gripping gently and pulling Frank's mouth back to his.

He kisses back with everything he's got.

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow, that hurt. But it was absolutely beautiful, as well. Wow. <3333
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
I swear I forget how painful this verse is, I"m so buried in it, it's like breathing to me. Thanks bb <333333
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (My heart tattoo)

[personal profile] akamine_chan 2013-01-08 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
I just finally managed to stop crying, too. *sniffles*

Thank you so much, sweet love. This was exactly what I love about this 'verse of yours, the longing that Frankie L has for a life other than his own.

Except he's not looking at him, he's looking at the other Frank, with one of the expressions Frank's never been the target of before. Frank's breath catches in his throat and for just one moment he wishes for something impossible. Then he leans up and kisses Gerard.

Oh, you broke me with that. *pets and cuddles Frankie*

ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god I just realised that this is the most DEPRESSING cheerup fic in the entire world. I didn't even think of that I'm SO SORRY oh god. *so many hugs*

I really need to work on this cheering people up thing. Puppies and kittens would be more appropriate wouldn't they?

Oh god I'm the DUMBEST bb. I'm so sorry.
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (My heart tattoo)

[personal profile] akamine_chan 2013-01-08 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, no, bb. I love the angst, a lot. It's really my favorite. Swears. *cuddles close*

Also, really really really love this 'verse. Thank you.
Edited 2013-01-08 06:55 (UTC)
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 07:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you bb. But next time puppies and kittens I PROMISE. Your general well being is TOO IMPORTANT. I shall not risk it!

Here is a puppy in the meantime:

Sending you massive hugs darling girl.
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (My heart tattoo)

[personal profile] akamine_chan 2013-01-08 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
OMG that's the cutest! *snuggles you and the puppeh*

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 09:48 am (UTC)(link)
ahahahaha Well, my day started strong but ended so fucking shitty so I'm all :( and perfectly willing to appropriate Aka's cheerup fic for my own non-nefarious purposes. So I'm reading this and I'm clutching my heart and waiting for the GIANT SAPPY <3333333 ENDING and meanwhile I'm tearing up and my heart is slowly breaking into tiny bits. And I'm thinking "holy SHIT this is good" and "holy SHIT I love this verse" and "awww lucky Aka!" thoughts.

And then it ends.

And then I realized that, well, you wrote the most depressing cheerup fic in the entire world...except clearly you are a wizard because I'm actually feeling better. [grins]

Now, as penance, you need to write the bit where Gerard falls for Frank Lero and angsts all over the place about how Frank doesn't REALLY love him, he's just doing this as, what, a FAVOR for a FRIEND and he DOES NOT REALLY CARE and Gerard draws moodily and pines and Frank ~hides in his bunk and PINES and Frank Iero ROLLS HIS EYES AT THEM BOTH and then there are comedic misunderstandings and revelations and porn. Delicious porn. And Jamia giggles at them and tells Frank about a few of the tattoos that he missed, and makes a very grumpy Frank strip so Frank can get them exactly right in his photographs and Gerard spends a very happy evening drawing them all carefully (before he gets distracted drawing carnivorous vines up Frank's dick and then Frank gets distracted yanking Gerard's mouth onto his dick AND THEY ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.


[identity profile] 2013-01-08 11:41 am (UTC)(link)
aaaand I just realized I kinda hijacked your gorgeous, evocative, bittersweet gem of a story into a bad notfic. Sorry, bb. I think it's the heat? [hugs] I seriously did love it, and I can't wait to read more in this verse. [all of the hearts]
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-10 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
LOL you totally didn't hijack anything bb. In my mind the larger story has a happy ending so I was actually kind of surprised at people's reactions. LOL WHOOPS. Hey Fox not everyone knows that they eventually work their shit out and have non-angsty sex!! Your readers are not MINDREADERS.

This is the problem with trying to write things quickly.

No worries babe, you have in no way ruined ANYTHING. (But carnivorous vines on Frank's dick? For real? Owwwwwww....)

♥ ♥ ♥

[identity profile] 2013-01-10 09:34 am (UTC)(link)
I know it has a happy ending, I remember you talking about it. [grins] I just didn't expect this particular snippet of it to be quite so...complicated. But gorgeous. Seriously, there's just layers and layers here, and every time I reread it, well, hurts a bit but in a different way every time. And I flip back and forth between feeling worse for Frank and for Gerard. It's one of the few angsty scenarios where I can't really pick a side to sympathize with. There's no good guy and no bad guy, just two guys in pain/love/pain. I ache for them both.

But carnivorous vines on Frank's dick? For real? Owwwwwww....

AHAHAHAHA YES! And now you see why Frank crunches up to see, and then stares with outrage at Gerard, drawing with single-minded concentration and the tip of his tongue peeking out. And then grabs Gerard's hair, knocks the marker away, and drags him down. Gerard's closed mouth bounces off his dick, except then he opens his mouth to say WTF and Frank moves fast and Gerard's halfway down his dick (thank god the markers are nontoxic) and Frank lets himself thump back onto the bed with a sense of payback accomplished.

And Gerard goes "mmmph!" because THIS IS RUINING HIS ~ART and Frank goes "my dick was being eaten by PITCHER PLANTS, Gerard!" and Gerard goes "...okay, fair enough" except he's kinda into it now so it's just a peaceful sort of mmmmmmumblemumble and then Frank goes nnnnnnngh a lot and it basically ends up being the sort of vengeance that is enjoyed a great deal by both parties. :)
greedy_dancer: (MCR Gerard STOP!)

[personal profile] greedy_dancer 2013-01-08 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)



ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-10 04:06 am (UTC)(link)



[identity profile] 2013-01-08 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh GOD, this hurts and is so so lovely. Poor Gerard! Poor FRANK! POOR EVERYONE ;______________;

I love how you make it so incredibly hot and yet so painful. Really wonderful job.
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-10 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
Oh man, I REALLY didn't set out with the idea of writing something depressing! It's this verse - it does it to me!

Thanks so much for responding, I'm glad you liked it. <3

[identity profile] 2013-01-08 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)

dude, this is amazing. you got SO MUCH in to a very few words! Just - the continuation of this universe, how easy you pulled me back in, how it made sense, this sort of on-going weirdness that starts to feel almost normal, b/c it's what they have to do to keep going. I love how this other Frank KNOWS. And understands. And the idea of Gerard drawing the tattoos on him is ALMOST TOO MUCH. like. I cannot stop thinking of it. Frank with his head tilted so Gerard can draw the scorpion on - nrrrrrgh. and the hands. and how easy they both are with it, the INTIMACY of it. AUGH. I LOVE IT.

and then when he shows up at Gerard's door and Gerard's reaction and how he believes it for a few minutes, and it BREAKS MY HEART for both of them when he figures it out, and just - :((((( BOYS.

I really loved this. Is my point. <3
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-13 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)

I honestly didn't realise how hurty this was when I was writing it, or even when I was posting it (LOL most depressing cheerup fic EVER). I'm so glad it spoke to you. The tattoo drawing scene is one of my most favourite things, and I really like the idea of them getting into the habit of doing that, that Frank will step in for Frank when he's not up to it or sick or whatever. And it does work for them in this weird backwards way, and that's how I feel about this Frank and Gerard, eventually it will work for them in some weird way.

Thanks so much for commenting, it means a lot. <3
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Mikey Way.)

[personal profile] gorgeousnerd 2013-01-08 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
That was wonderful and painful and perfect. Wow.
ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-13 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so so much <3

[identity profile] 2013-01-14 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
i would just like to say:

ext_399013: (Ray smiles like the sun)

[identity profile] 2013-01-23 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
I think that's a good eek.

Thank you <3
ext_1650: (Frank pale (all_tattooed))

[identity profile] 2013-04-07 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Late comment is very late, but I enjoyed this a lot.

I loved Gerard drawing on Frank's tattoos, and how Jamia did try despite it having to be weird.