ladyfoxxx | Meme: Your First Fanfic - AKA Pikasafire is fucking evil.

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Meme: Your First Fanfic - AKA Pikasafire is fucking evil.

pikasafire tagged me for this meme and I think I need to send the winged monkeys after her.

MEME: YOUR FIRST FIC!

Post your very first fanfiction. Don't edit anything out. Leave in all the bad spelling, terrible grammar and painful summary.

Tag five other people. Have fun!

Fun. FUN? Seriously you guys, this is worse than I thought. I originally thought "Oh wow, at least it's not in first person!" and then I went and FOUND it (still on gossamer OH MY GOD.) And then I discover not only is it actually MOSTLY in first person it is also... wait for it... SONG FIC.

SONG FIC YOU GUYS. I'M NOT KIDDING. JON BON JOVI MOTHERFUCKING SONGFIC.

OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M POSTING THIS. *runs away*

Date sent: Wed, 06 Aug 1997 13:37:30 -0400

OK, this is my first post so be merciful. I am sending this from a friend's computer, but you can e-mail me at (no longer current email is no longer current). Please don't give out the other address as she is liable to kill me. (NOTE FROM THE PRESENT: I was not actually sending from a "friend's" email, but from my student email, I just couldn't figure out how to attach from my free fandom email provider. THE INTERNET WAS NEW AND SHINY OKAY?)

Archive it, do whatever you want with it, just give me the credit.

Title: Every Word Was A Piece Of My Heart
Email Address: (no longer current email is no longer current)
Rating: PG (Adult themes)
Category: Vignette (Angst?Romance? You tell me!)
Spoilers: Gethsemane
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Relationship
Summary: Set during the episode, Mulder bares his soul in one last letter to Scully.

Standard Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, they belong to CC (and Fox and 1013). I've just borrowed them for a bit. The song belongs to Jon Bon Jovi and whoever his recording company is. No breach of copyright intended, just a bit of fun. Please don't sue me I don't have any money.

OK, this story was inspired by the song mentioned in the title. I heard it, I loved it, I wrote about it. Consider it. Really CONSIDER it. Don't jump to the obvious conclusion... (NOTE FROM THE PRESENT: If you could see me right now you would know I am facepalming so hard I am surprised I can still see.)

I adore feedback. This is my first outing so please give me lots of it. PLEASE! Here's my address again: (no longer current email is no longer current) Feedback whore. Some things never change.

Every Word Was A Piece Of My Heart

Images danced on the screen. Talking heads. How many times had he watched these tapes? Dissected them. Believed them. Believed the lie.

Not anymore.

He picked up his pen.

*I've been staring at the page
For what seems like days
I guess I put this one off for a while...*

Four years. It's been long enough. Now time is running out. I don't know if it's already too late. So I sit here, the blank page staring me down, my failure to open up to you until now just one more failure on a long, long list. It's time.

Scully, there are some things I need to tell you, about me, about us. I'm not sure if you already know, if you've guessed, or if I've been as good at hiding it as I hoped I was.

This is hard for me, Scully. I'm not good with feelings. I'm better with facts, instincts, theories... but you already knew that. I know this is my last chance to tell you, so in desperation and with courage I've borrowed from a bottle of whiskey, I'll write down what I should have had the guts to say long before now...

*Did I see a tear fall from your eye
Or did you laugh so hard that you cried
When I served my secrets on a silver tray to you*

I love you, Dana. I always have. I don't know the when or why of it but somewhere along the way you became a part of me, a part I couldn't let go of, ignore or rip out. So go ahead, laugh, cry, scream. But know this is the truth.

*You've been the blood in my veins
The only one who knows my real name
And the smiles they came easy 'cause of you*

*You know that I love you but I hate you
'Cause I know I could never escape you
So let the choir sing for tonight I'm an easy mark*

I want to apologise for what I'm about to do. I don't want to hurt you, but you have to understand, this is something I have no control over. I just had to tell you first, how I feel. It's important that you know.

*Have I said too much
Maybe I haven't said enough
But know that every word was a piece of my heart*

My time is short. I can feel it calling me. It's time, Scully, it's time. To tell you the truth, I'm terrified. But this is something I have to do. I have no choice.

*Hush me darling, maybe I've lost my touch
Maybe I've lost my guts
There - is that truth enough*

Don't cry for me, Dana. I can't bear the thought of your pain.

*Hey now, am I talking just a little too loud
Hey now, I guess the night's just bringing me down...*

He signed his name in his distinctive bold scrawl, wiped the tears from his eyes and reached for his gun.

****************************************THE END*********************************

(Oh GOD, there isn't even an EQUAL NUMBER of asterixes on each side of the THE END. And there appears to be more header information and song lyrics than actual writing here. I should have named Jon Bon Jovi as my co-writer. OH KILL ME. KILL ME NOW.)

Dear lord, that was MORTIFYING. Really. I think the SG stuff is less embarrassing.

I'm not sure if you all know but

b_dsaint is on a self imposed LJ ban for lent, but since

pikasafire fingered her for this too, she's graciously allowed me to bare her soul on her behalf. So BEHOLD!

Miz's first fanfic. (It's Newsies, in case you were wondering.)

I tag

villiagegreen,

piratesunk,

brooklinegirl,

turps33 and

amproof. And ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO PLAY. I AM CURIOUS, OKAY? Don't make me stand here in shame alone.

Now if we could all please forget everything you've just read. Thanks? Bye.

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Is that...song fic?

I recall the heyday of the song fic before we all came to our senses.

Oh you are going to regret mine! Just you wait!!

Yes Am. It's fucking songfic. I AM A WALKING CLICHE. My only saving grace is that THANK GOD IT'S NOT FUCKING SARAH FUCKING MCLACHLAN.

Now I really can't wait to see what yours is...

I still think one of the best SG fics I ever did was my songfic to "Invincible"!

This is because I am stubborn with my pride.

You stand strong, girl. Don't let the man get you down.

That is MAGICAL.

My first fic was only a year and change ago, and I'm still really proud of it (http://otpsaurus-rex.livejournal.com/944.html). But for the lolz, when I was 12 I won $15 for Red Ribbon Week with this beauty of a poem:

drugs ruin.
they ruin your health.
alcohol equals violence, liver, kidney failure.
ecstasy causes nausea, dizziness, hospital stays...death.

drugs ruin.
they ruin your life.
marijuana gets you into gangs; it clouds your mind until you shut off your family and friends.
noxious fumes make you irritable, angry, unable to concentrate.

drugs ruin.
they ruin your future.
pot, smoked when burnt, kills brain cells; hard to get into harvard with a 1.7 gpa.
tobacco makes your teeth brown and yellow; your breath smells of smoke
not good for job interviews.

drugs ruin. they ruin your health, your life, your future, you. end of story.

Edited 2011-03-14 18:50 (UTC)

Oh man first

turps33 has knifeplay and yours is a 3some with DP. I am in AWE. I really really want to go back and delete mine now but I refus to. I'll just keep reminding myself that I wrote it like, 14 years ago and hope that makes for some kind of excuse.

Your drugs poem is LOVELY. Not bad for a 12 year old!

Thanks for playing!

Edited 2011-03-14 22:19 (UTC)

That is TOTALLY an excuse. 14 years ago I didn't even know what sex was. :D? :D?

I have no such excuse. IT'S STILL REALLY FUCKING EMBARRASSING.

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

pot, smoked when burnt

BEAUTIFUL AND INFORMATIVE

<333333333333333

I am so deeply ashamed of my old fic that I am quite sure it no longer exists anywhere. Mwahaha!

The oldest I can find is a sad sad X-Men Movieverse self-insertion. Not sharing that on my life XD

Damn. I would be so off the hook if only the XF fandom didn't have such great archiving...

Wow. Self insertion. Actually I think my VERY first fanfic was self-insertion for New Kids On The Block. It pre-dated the internet though, so it never marched on from being scribbled into an old notebook. I'm quite relieved about that. :D

oh bb I am about to type up my scribbles. You're getting THE FIRST fanfic.

I AM SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY EVEN BREATHE.

TYPE FASTER.

I have just shared mine, and am still sitting with a flaming red face. Which is all your fault!

My story had a flame of longing! It had a randomly bolded Oh Fuck in dialogue.

It's also stupidly long for a first effort.

I should have named Jon Bon Jovi as my co-writer

I'm laughing far too hard at that. We can be embarrassed together I guess.

You would not believe the range of facial expressions I made while posting this.

Your story is SO MUCH MORE HARDCORE than mine. And I totally forgot to comment on how I noted the length of mine as 4K - not realising 4k = 4000 words, which it clearly IS NOT. I thought the K referred to kilobytes, and my text file was 4 kilobytes thus fic length = 4K. I WAS NOT VERY BRIGHT, OK?

Yeah we can totally be embarrassed together. Can I hide my face in your chest? Thanks....

Oh god. The story length. I was so confused about that. Fanfic is complicated.

Can I hide my face in your chest? Thanks....

Of course! But really, it's not so bad you have to kill yourself via breast suffocation.

What? Breast suffocation would be an awesome way to go, shut up!

to be fair, my first fanfic was kept on paper and passed around between my friend and I when we were in 7th grade.

It was the crackiest survivor reality AU thing ever and it was shameful and was vaguely mary sue but really more just in jokes and things written in gel pen with a lot of implied blow jobs. Also it was mostly about all the people i fangirl now minus meloy and wentz.

If she still had it I would die a thousand deaths.

Dude. You need to post SOMETHING. I TAGGED YOU. DO IT. DOOOOO IT.

It can be your first ever GD fic. Or soemthing. YOU NEED TO POST SOMETHING. I AM GETTING ALL EMBARRASSED HERE ON MY OWN. PLEASE. PLEEEEEASE...

... and you treat me this way even though I am sending you a present... FOR SHAME FOXIE, FOR SHAME.

I STILL DON'T SEE YOU POSTIN' GIRLIE.

Heh. I think most of us started with songfics. But, omg, YAY X-Files!

Be not ashamed. Here's mine! IT wasn't my first fic ever (I can't find that) but it was the real first of the 8 year wave of writing that hasn't really stopped.

Songfic! (http://www.checkmated.com/story.php?story=393)

I'm so glad I'm not alone in my songfic efforts. Of course, YOUR songfic efforts are much more well written, as in, there is more actual prose than stolen song lyrics. Muahahaa. But THANK YOU for participating, I feel like less of a loser being in company!

Lol, again, it wasn't my first fic. I had some practice with Scarecrow and Mrs. King and Buffy. Willow/OZ, to be exact. But yeah. It's still cheesy as hell! Melodramatic much? Heehee.

You're not a loser at all! Or, if you are, there are plenty of us to keep you company! *hums Glee song*

I'm gonna go see what I have on ff.net. I know the first thing I ever wrote was a self insertion where the Weasley family moves to Winnipeg and goes to my school. (omg shut up, I KNOW, okay?) I wrote it during RECESS. Thank fucking god I don't still have that.

Ahahahaha self-insertion! I think a LOT of us started with self insertion. I bet that fic was EPIC. I'm so glad my first self-insertion never made it past the scribbled page. I think it was in 3rd person though, which is a good start at least.

HAVE YOU POSTED?

Lol!!! Songfic!

The offer to fill pikasafire's room with balloons still stands.

You don't have to fill the room... perhaps just put an errant balloon like, under her desk or something? Oh man, that sounds too mean now. Ugh.

DUDE, SONGFIC. PLEASE FORGET EVERYTHING YOU READ.

It's far more fun to just threaten her with balloons. Then I get the amusement but none of the hysterics.

And consider it done.

HOLY SHIT HE REACHED FOR A GUN. That was an INTENSE EMOTIONAL RIDE WITH A LOT OF ASTERISKS. LOL this is my favourite meme ever, old fic is AMAZING :DDDDD

Thanks for sharing!! ♥

REALLY CONSIDER IT. CONSIDER IT. Don't jump to the 'obvious conclusion'. Ugh, what was WRONG with me? This is mortifying.

Though your appropriate icon is SO appropriate.

Did you share too?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Omg, I love seeing these and seeing how FAR we've all come!

I am so ridiculously entertained, omg, best meme ever.

I REGRET NOTHING! AHAHAHAHA!

I WOULD KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR BALLOONS IF I WERE YOU.

(This whole thing was rather entertaining I must admit. I'm not going to thank you though. This was HELL.)

Well, I looked and looked and I can't find the notebook w/ my first fanfic. Here is a summary. (I wrote the story at age 10. The Monkees were having a resurgence on Nickelodeon and I was obsessed.)

So, the Monkees were a street gang of runaway orphans. Davy, the leader, was 4. He wore a red bandanna around his neck. I think Mike, the eldest, was 10. Altogether, the Monkees oversaw an underground (literal, they lived in the sewers) civilization of young urchins and runaways.

Davy gave rousing speeches.

The nemesis was a lady from the orphanage who very possibly was inspired by Miss Finch from Follow That Bird. Other influences: Oliver! the musical and possibly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, if they were around. I think that some type of martial arts skill was involved...

Also, there was a lot of denim.

I think the whole thing was three paragraphs long.

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